Find out how creating a “The List of 50,” will help you to find your life partner, and get exactly the relationship you want.
Hi there, Wayne C. Allen here.
Until my retirement in 2013, (31 years!) I was a psychotherapist–and I know a thing or two about helping people just like you to find your life partner… and then to create a great relationship.
I’ve been researching this topic for decades, (and have been in a primary relationship since 1983…) and I know how complicated all of this can seem.
That’s what this letter is all about!
One time, I was talking with a client who was really frustrated. He was just shy of 40, and had a string of failed relationships training in his wake. I asked him about his dating strategy.
“If a woman seems interested, I ask her out.”
Me: “Well, exactly what kind of person are you looking for?”
Him: “I don’t really have a clue.”
Me: “Well, do you think that might have something to do with why you keep ending up in relationships with strange people?”
Him: “How do I figure out what I want?”
I gave him a strategy that I spell out in detail in my book, Find Your Perfect Partner.
What’s this all about? I’m glad you asked!
Most people think finding the right person should “just happen.” They depend on “the luck of the draw,” and typically end up with the next bozo in line.
The “cure” is a focused, clear, and direct approach to the whole “finding a partner” enterprise. It requires thought, persistence, and logic.
You must learn how to focus in on getting what you want, as opposed to settling for “almost, but not quite.”
Rather than leave any of this to chance, I developed The List of 50.
“The List of 50” is the key to finding Your Perfect Partner.
A while back, a friend of one of my clients decided to use the method from Find Your Perfect Partner. She’d been in some strange relationships, and didn’t want a repeat performance.
She spent a month reading the e-book and crafting her List of 50. She sent it to me for comments, and she followed the directions for implementing it.
Within a few months, she started a new relationship with someone who fits—someone who understands—someone who “gets it.” Not surprisingly, her soul-mate was someone she knew!
Here’s what she wrote:
You may not recall, but I met you once a couple of years ago while attending a session with (a client of yours who is a friend of mine.) One activity she has shared with me is the infamous List of 50 . This act of positively exploring my needs and desires was very rewarding. I have shared this idea with many of my friends and family, with many positive results and constructive conversations.
Not surprisingly, this List was a key component in discovering that the person I wished to share my life with was in fact a very close friend of mine. He too completed the assignments, and through some soul searching we realized that we were looking for each other. Though neither of us had considered the act of marriage before, the idea of creating a symbolic union naturally appealed to us.
~ D. Christieson
Another reader described endlessly dating people she ended up leaving. She really thought that relationships “just happened,” and that she was somehow compelled or required to go out with anyone who showed up on her door. After reading Find Your Perfect Partner, she wrote her List of 50.
Not only did she find her life partner, she learned a big lesson about herself:
…Most of all, it made me consider things that I’d never really taken the time to think about. Previously, I didn’t know that I had any say or any control in who I ended up with. It brought some reality and control into that mysterious, magical world of Love.
And that’s just the beginning!
Not only does this book go into the details of creating your own List of 50, but here is what else you will discover once you get your hands on this book:
- practical, step-by-step ways to do what works and to stop doing what doesn’t when it comes to finding a new relationship.
- the inside validation exercise – how to condition yourself to do the opposite of what people in failed relationships do time and time again
- three cultural myths that get in the way of relationship success
- Are you in love? How to tell the difference between lust and the real thing
- the data filtering principle – the reason you keep getting into dead-end relationships (and how to change this forever)
- why “taking your chances” is the worst way of finding your ideal partner (and you’ll discover a much better alternative)
- how to ‘police the language’ in your List of 50 – ways to say what you want, clearly and specifically
- are you really ready for a new relationship? Your answer may surprise you!
- Why friends are good models for lovers
More client comments!
I’m pleasing myself over the fact that you are writing a book based on the List of 50. I find it ironic actually because the timing is rather impeccable. I finally, after 6 long months of emotional and physical celibacy decided to re-write my list. This time I did a good job, not a half assed job as I was so used to doing in the past. I really used the tools in the book; I examined my old patterns, past relationships and myself and came up with my true List of 50.
At the time I re-wrote it I was going through something with an old friend. As soon as I severed the negative relationship I allowed myself to find the man that fit my list 100 percent. I actually showed him the list and he laughed and said “You wrote this after you met me didn’t you?” I hadn’t, as a matter of fact I had written it about 4 weeks earlier. He and I have spent the summer together getting to know one another and each other’s children and we are enjoying all that goes along with it.
I have also been using tools from building long and lasting relationships and I am finding that they are truly helping me to not go back to old patterns. I am honest with him and with myself and I rarely give anyone other than myself the power to make me feel anyway. I find this one different in the sense that I have built my own security and I no longer feel a need for urgency. I am not rushing things and still enjoy time on my own. Whenever I see myself slipping into my old patterns I simply stand back and observe without judgment and correct where I am with self awareness and of course breath.
When I showed my List of 50 to one friend he commented, “Do you have a short list that us mere mortals could aspire to?” My answer was, “I had a short list and it got me my ex-husband. I’m being more particular now.”
Does anyone fit my list? Well, I have “tried” a relationship with one man that almost fits my list but a few of the very important points were not met (high energy, engaging fully in life being the most important). Having the list made it very clear. He remains a very, very close friend so that’s a good thing.
I have “reunited” with a fellow I went out with some 32 years ago who has potential for fitting my list. I say potential because it will take time to know. We live in different provinces, which is a difficulty, of course, but seem to be beginning to explore the possibility of relationship over the phone for now. (By the way, I’ve suggested he read the booklet and write out his own list. I’m kind of hoping he’ll notice I fit his. Might not work that way but I’m willing to take a chance.)
This latter connection, made after I had written my list, has me thinking that it really is possible that someone out there could fit it. so that alone has been beneficial.
A final thought. As I re-read my list (not quite daily but frequently) it is clear to me that besides the qualities that are specific to another—height, profession, etc.) the qualities I want in a man are the qualities I work towards for myself. That is, being a person of integrity, caring, committed to my psychological and physical health and development. It was interesting to note that. Not surprising, just interesting.
I want to give you an update on the effects of my List of 50. I very much was wanting a relationship in the spring and summer and, after writing out my list, read it often and gave it to a number of friends, both as a “giving it away” and as a request for fixing up.
I was also aware that I really did need time alone to get deeper into my own Being, to learn to feel not just comfortable but happy with being alone. This fall, although there was still a part of me wanting relationship, I clearly accepted and decided I more wanted to be alone, for the present at any rate. My life is full and I have plans to be away next year on sabbatical. A conscious relationship takes time and effort and I was happy to work on my self alone.
Well, as we know, giving something away seems to be the major ingredient in receiving. Three weeks ago I met the cousin of my friend and within 3 conversations we both knew this was for life. Timing was excellent as we both had holidays and spent a week together. The knowing only increased. He matches 49 out of my list of 50! (And I already have a good car mechanic so I can easily give that up.)
Loving has never been so easy, so sacred, so healing. Thank you.
–> Read a Sample
Available formats: Find Your Perfect Partner
* Paperback book, 140 pages, ** Kindle download
* Publisher: The Phoenix Centre Press (December 2012)
* Language: English
* ISBN: 978–09877192-1–8
Paperback: $20.00, Kindle edition $2.99
Purchase paperback from Createspace
Rather than hoping to find the right partner in life through luck or random chance, Find Your Perfect Partner shows you the self-responsible, pro-active approach that leads to solid results. There are plenty of good psychological insights for men or women here, whether you’re looking to start a new relationship or not, but its real strength, to me, seems to be in helping a person figure out exactly what they do want in a partner and getting past the internal filters that continually set them up with the wrong partner. It’s another gem by Wayne.
~ Dennis “Boogie Jack” Gaskill
Find Your Perfect Partner is what you’ve been looking for.
I could go on and on with reasons to purchase Find Your Perfect Partner today, but here’s the point:
You need to prove to yourself that you can experience your own personal miracle.
Do it today!
What will your life look like after you have implemented the techniques you’ll learn in
Find Your Perfect Partner?
I don’t know.
What I can tell you is that hundreds of people just like you have read this book, and my readers call and e-mail to order copies to give to friends and loved-ones. This book works!
But you may still be reluctant to buy this amazing book.
I understand. But ask yourself this:
Where will that leave you?
How is your love life, right now? Do you think doing more of the same will suddenly give you the life you so desperately want?
I can guarantee that more of the same will get you more of the same.
Will you spend the rest of your life regretting not learning how to have the best relationship possible?
I can’t make the decision for you. I can help you, but you’ve got to take the first step.
And here’s another guarantee. If you get stuck, and want to talk, my contact information is here on my site, and included with the book. I’m serious about wanting walk with you, as you find your life partner, and become all you can be.
P.P.S. And remember, we guarantee that all of our books will help you to soar! We’re that confident!